Things Are Changing

Last night was the last night that I will work the second shift. *praise dances* It is a blessing sometimes to not have to go in til 12:15, but getting off after 9 at night was starting to get old. FAST. But I paid my dues. After 18 whole months, I finally get an 8:30 to 5:30 shift. It will be wonderful to get off work when the sun is still out. The only drawback is now I have to work on Saturdays. I am going to miss my old team. We were truly like a family. I bonded with that supervisor and that group of people more than I have with anyone else I have EVER worked with. Glad that I am taking one of my teammates with me. Makes the transition smoother. 

I am just happy to get some healthier eating habits. Eating large dinners at dang near 10 at night then going to bed has NOT been nice to my frame. I think my mental head space will be better in my relationship. We will go to work at the same time and get off....kinda around the same time. So we'll have more time to spend together. His sleep patterns are bad because he wants to be up when I'm up....but I'll be quick to sleep....and an argument happens. (Thank God I can eliminate that. When I'm sleepy, I go to sleep....Boo Thang, however....) This also sets it up very nicely for me to start bar prep classes in the spring. I can be off work and ready for night classes. 

I have been praying for this for a while so I am definitely thanking God for these changes. I hope they are for the best. 

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I Hate The IRS....

Exactly!!!! (From homeschoolcpa.com)

Okay so I really don't hate the IRS. Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited til last night to file my tax returns. Found out that I actually OWE money. FEDERAL AND STATE. This sucks monkey balls. It's not much in the grand scheme of things...a total of $300, it just happens to be a huge inconvenience  Which is totally my fault. I tried to break even on my taxes and not get a refund and ended up staying tax exempt a little too long. Lesson learned!!! It's still hard not to be a little pissed. The older I get, the more I realized how much I get nickle and dimed for my paycheck. Then my commissions get taxed more than my base pay....THAT'S that ish I don't llike. 

I need to get a child or something.....LOL!!

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You Said WHAT Was Wrong With My Eye?!?!?!?

Anybody who knows me even a little bit knows that I am blind as a bat visually impaired to a certain extent. I've been wearing glasses since since I was 6 years old...so that says a lot. I haven't been to an optometrist in  about 2 years mostly because I didn't have insurance and my vision hasn't worsened in the last 6 years. Then I got pregnant. What To Expect While You're Expecting said that I probably shouldn't get new glasses during that time because the hormones will make your vision change. That book was like a Bible, so I didn't go. I should have. My vision had started to change around that time. Fuzziness, floaters, bright flashes of light in my left eye. It was abnormal, but not anything that I worried about at that time.....until I started to actually lose my vision. I woke up one day and realized that I was losing my central vision. So of course I went to the optometrist. 

That was the LONGEST appointment EVER!!! She basically told me then that I had a detached retina in my left eye and that the way it was detached I was at risk for permanent vision loss. I was at risk for this all along because of how nearsighted I am. [NOTE: It was at this moment that I made up my mind that I was done with doctors because EVERY TIME I go in for something I think is routine, it ends up in a Defcon 1 situation] Since this was now a medical emergency, I had to go to an ophthalmologist and go over surgery options. *sighs* Of course I was worried about not being able to see, but the grown-up in me was remembering that I hadn't met my deductible yet. So the surgery was set for Monday and all went well according to my doctor. There is a gas bubble in my eye, so It looks like I'm underwater in that eye. But I can already tell the difference. I can't see clearly, but I can see light and brightness....which I couldn't do last week. It all looked like I had on rose-colored glasses. It won't be for another 2 weeks until we should be able to tell how much of my vision could be saved. I'm optimistic though. Once this heals I have to get some laser surgery done in my right eye to prevent this from happening in my right eye. Because I know the symptoms, I won't wait dang near a year from the tear. 

This more annoying than painful. I can't watch TV or be on the computer for more than about 30 minutes before I have get a headache. But I do get a vacation from work...which is always a plus!!

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Tuesday Randoms

1. I know I haven't blogged in a LONG time! Still trying to get adjusted to working 8 hours and having a life after I clock out. It's the struggle. All That time being unemployed has greatly put me at a disadvantage. Did I say that the pay is absolutely friggin awesome?!?! I've never made this much money in one pay period in my entire life! I'm not even getting commision yet! I can also see how a person would get stuck there.....gotta make sure I remember what I'm here for.

2. If I've said it before, I've said it a million times.....I'M READY TO MOVE! Looking at my take home, we're set to go by the end of next month.

3. Relationships are ahrd....ESPECIALLY when you've been together for a long time. Communication seems to be a struggle. People get too comfortable. Troubled times have shown me that there is no one else that I'd rather go though this stuff with than Boo Thang. (Even though I'm sure we'd like to strangle each other sometimes!)

4. One day Daddy is in love with his wife, the next day I'm supposed to draw up his divorce papers (this is another post in itself). I've decided that I no longer want to be involved or kept abreast of the foolishness....because that is exactly what it is. Some folks need to grow the hell up.

Happy Tuesday!!

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Time Flies.....

February 9th marked me and Boo Thang's 5th anniversary. WOW! It doesn't even seem like it's been that long at all. I guess they say time flies when you are having fun. We have had our share of ups and downs, but we are still going strong.

We spent this whole weekend holed up at the Marriott (thank God for employee perks!) just enjoying each other's company, staying warm, being BY OURSELVES, and catching up on much needed rest. Sometimes I think I am making him old. We even stayed up all night jamming to Whitney Houston songs (that is a whole other post). I surprised him with a romantic setup that almost made him cry. That means the world to me.

I can't wait for the rest of our story to unfold. I'm still excited when I see him. He still gives me goosebumps when we kiss. I love him. I truly do.

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Merry Christmas!

This year is going to be a different for me. For the first time, I won't be going home for Christmas. I am spending it with Boo Thang and his family. They won't let me sit around and be sad. I don't want to wallow in sadness every holiday. So this year I'm taking back the holidays. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

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The Turn Around

I have not posted a lot.....well at all for the last couple weeks. I have been in the FOULEST of moods over the last couple weeks and I just decided not to infect my blog or my readers with any of that. I have even taken to staying off Twitter in my foul moods. The last thing I want are my virtual peeps to think I'm a bitch lol.

The recruiter for my job called me last week to confirm that I will be starting on January 23rd. Background check came back clear and so did the drug screen. She apologized for all the confusion that was going on on my original start date. This lifted my mood dramatically because in my mind, I didn't know if I was going to get to start at all. They say that "no news is good news"......but I have to know something. Boo Thang and I are definitely apartment hunting after the first of the year. Tentative move out date is the first of March. Hallelujah!! He's ready and I am too.

I have been Christmas shopping for the free. By this I mean, most of the gifts that I am buying people cost me nothing. I got Boo Thang and I new cell phones (Droid Incredible 2) on a Cyber Monday sale. They cost $Free.99. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I have been threatening to blow FedEx up. These phones shipped Wednesday and have sat on the back of a FedEx truck since Friday morning. I know we live in the boonies right now.....but I need my phones ASAP. I also scored Boo Thang some celebrity swag. A friend of mine is an equipment manager for the Miami Dolphins. Those players get Reebox apparel for days that they don't want. They gave it to him and he's giving it to me for the cost of shipping. Is that winning or what?! Now as far as all the rest of my gifts......well I'll get to that as I can, lol.

All I know is that my mood is great!!

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A Change In CIrcumstances

Sometimes I feel like when it rains, it pours. I have been extra pouty over the last couple of days because every time something seems to look up in my life, it somehow takes an extra turn and goes a little sour for me. I am one of those people that is a little afraid to get excited about certain things because I don't want to be disappointed later on. So here's what's been going on.

1. The start date of my new job has been delayed until January 23rd. I was told that it was delayed because even though they have me in the system they have not started on my background check as of November 14th....the date that I was supposed to start. This is extra irritating to me because I have been on the phone with those people back and forth since I got hired. I've been breaking my neck trying to find old W2s and checkstubs (which proved to be hard because we have moved and still haven't found a new place for important documents to go) to fax in to them. I think that if I am being prompt then as a business you should be too. I feel really bad about this because Boo Thang has since picked up a second job. Mind you he did this because he wanted to have extra Christmas money, but it LOOKS like he's slaving away while I am at home doing nothing (at least this is what I heard it looks like *rolls eyes*). I was looking forward to this job because it means that we could get our own place really soon.....but it looks like that dream is deferred.
2. My computer crashed. It has EVERYTHING on it. Plus it was my best mode of entertainment thus far. Bye, HP.....it's been fun.
3. My dad is depressed because it doesn't seem like his marriage is working.....after 4 months and 15 days. I told him that shit was not going to work back in June sympathize with him just a little bit. That's my daddy. He really is good people....too good to be mistreated by an immature, insecure golddigger.
4. Boo Thang and I need our own place. ASAP. I am starting not to feel like an adult anymore and this is a SERIOUS problem for me as I have always been a pretty independent person.

So these are my gripes. They are all workable....but sometimes it just feels good to pout about it, listen to slow jams and drink wine.
I feel

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And The Push For A Wedding Begins.....

While Boo Thang and I were living in Oxford, we had a good bit of pressure from my extended family to go on ahead and get married. Most of it came from the fact that we were living together. My family is really old fashioned in that way. My pastor at the time even sat us both down when my mom went into hospice care and told us how we needed to get married before my mom died. My mom was NOT going!!! She really didn't want us to rush things because of her and gave Jay her blessing for whenever we were ready. We decided at that point that we would work at our own pace and not let outside pressure influence us. We were under the impression that our move closer to his family would erase that element from our relationship. WRONG!!!! 

Boo Thang has a second cousin who has been deemed nuttier than squirrel shit is a little on the strange side. Apparently this woman (who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet) and Boo Thang's mama have been communicating on the phone a pretty good bit about me, him and our relationship track. One day after we had been out all day, there was a BIG package waiting at home for me. I opened it up to reveal a box that says David's Bridal on the front. In my mind I'm going "please don't let this be a dress, please don't let this be a dress!" It's a wedding dress. *sighs* Inside the dress box is a letter that reads:

Dear Kat,

This is [name omitted]. I know that you don't know me but I have heard a lot about you and your relationship with Boo Thang. I want to do something to help you guys out. The Lord led me to pick out this wedding dress for you. I felt the spirit of your mother and grandmother leading me to this particular dress and I know that they are pleased and smiling down on you. This is my gift to you, you don't owe me anything….BUT you have to use this dress by November 17th! I am excited to attend your upcoming wedding.

Love,

[Name Omitted]

WTF?!?! WHO BUYS A WOMAN A WEDDING DRESS?!?!?!?! Furthermore who buys someone a dress with stipulations. My natural reaction to that letter was to laugh. Boo Thang's was to snap off….hard. He said, "she means November 17th….of this year….as in next month? Oh hell naw!!" To add insult to injury, this dress is hideous not the wedding dress for me. It doesn't fit and Boo Thang has seen me in it. So even if I liked it, I couldn't use it. I'm superstitious like that. He's slightly pissed at his mom for not stopping this in it’s tracks. My thoughts are "dang…here we go again!"

With me getting a job (still turning cartwheels over that) we are closer to that. We refused to get married still having to ask our parents for basic living needs….or still living in his mom's house. People don't seem to understand exactly what our plans are. We are heading that way….but can we PLEASE make some money. What I want to say to all parties involved is:

IF YOU WANT US TO GET MARRIED SO BAD, PAY FOR IT!!!!! I AM NOT HAVING A COURTHOUSE WEDDING…..so do you still want us to rush now? Thought so. Oh and that down payment on a new place….we're gonna need that too. *rolls eyes* 

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Turning The Corner

Today I had an interview at Comcast for a Retention Executive position. Pending a drug test and a background check……I GOT A JOB!!!! My start date is November 14th and I couldn't be happier. I got 2 whole weeks to bring my wardrobe back to professional standards (and clothes that fit properly). *happy screams* 

The interviewer….he was amazing. He sat down at the beginning of the interview and told me, "I've seen your resume and I'm impressed. Right now I already want to recommend to HR to hire you….so it's up to you to blow the interview." Wow. This put me in the most relaxed position EVER. After all the questions, he just kept saying "great" and "brilliant." Made me feel great. AND he got cool points with me for not dismissing me on sight because of my juris doctor. I thought I had applied to this job with a resume that took this off. Apparently not. When he said,"so I see you have a law degree," I immediately went OH SHIT in my head. But it was nothing to him….thank God!

I'm just happy that it went so well. The first person I called was my Dad.....can you believe that, lol? I can finally start getting my credit on track. In fact….I'm getting a copy of my credit report sent out to me as I type so I can see the damage. I am one of those awful people that slides it under the rug because there was nothing I could do about it. I can finally bring my student loans current and start saving. More importantly, Boo Thang and I are finally a two income relationship. He just got a promotion (after being there 2 months…what!!). We can finally move out of his mom's house and start wedding planning.  *sighs* All is right with the world.

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Happy Birthday, Mama!

Today would've been my mother's 53rd birthday. It's only been a little over a year since she died but think as the time goes by I miss her more and more. The more things that I go through, the more I want to pick up that phone and call her. I miss her laugh, her rants.....even our fifty-leven phone calls going "girl, did you see that mess?!" during one episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Not having her to lean on saddens me, but I hope she's proud of me and how hard I'm still going.

Gone but never forgotten.....happy birthday, Mama.....

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First Steps

I have moved!!! YES!!!!

The past month has been a flurry of packing, moving and getting things in order to move. I intentionally stopped blogging so that I can get into a less busy head space. I am officially a resident of Madison County….and that feels pretty good. Around my last couple of days left in Oxford, I realized  that I have lived in Oxford for the past 10 years. I moved into Crosby Hall at Ole Miss on June 27, 2001. That was the beginning of the second summer session before my freshman year. I never left. Something about Oxford connected with me. I guess that was because my hometown is the size of a small village. Anything that was a little bigger was better for me. Went to undergrad there. Went to law school there. Then started spinning my wheels there. Great town for a student…..not that great for anyone else there.

I've been here almost 3 weeks and it is still kinda weird to call anywhere else home. These are familiar surroundings but I've only visited. I am still trying to get out and bump around to make myself more at home. The job search has also began. I may have a job next week….but that is the subject for another post if and when I get the job.

There is also a change with Boo Thang and I. Over the past few days, he has been the most affectionate guy. I have the urge to just reach out and ask him what he did, lol. He's excited that he got to take me home with him. Can't be mad at that. We were stuck in a little rut and the change of scenery has done us good….in 3 weeks lol. 

HOWEVER (and what is a happy post without a "but") I am SO ready to move, lol. We are staying with Boo Thang's mother and stepdad until we save enough money to move out. I feel like that we have instantly stepped into the role of children. I love his mother to death, but it is so obvious that the absence of children has her happy that we are there. I don't have any problems, but Boo Thang is seriously annoyed. When he's annoyed, I'm annoyed. (It just happens like that sometimes.) I haven't lived at home with my parents for more than a summer in the past ten years, so I understand how much of a culture shock this is for him. All the more reason to get on up, get it together and move on out. It's going to work itself out though....or y'all will hear about it. 

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Oh Granny....

Who doesn't love their grandmother? I do!! She can cook her ass off, was great for the weekend getaway when I was tired of my parents and she's sweet as pie. Since my mom died last year, Ms. Grandma (yes, that's what I call her) has been abnormally clingy. Since my mom is her daughter and we are the only grandkids that still live in state (and only an hour away), I didn't mind that she wanted to see more of us. That was until my visits became not enough. Since Mother's Day, I've been on strike until I get some kind of inkling that my feelings are being respected and taken into account. Not to mention that my days are pretty full with looking for a job, coordinating a move and just trying to regain a sense of normalcy, and trying to get my car fixed. I just really haven't felt like being bothered. I know that's kinda awful. I feel bad about it….a little bit.

Last night, Ms. Grandma calls me and the tone is harsh from the first hello. No "hey, how you doing" just "y'all just don't call me at all no more, huh?!" *sighs* I JUST TALKED TO HER a few days ago. This call was one to convince me not to move. As have the last few calls have been. That's the real reason she's angry. Every time we talk it's all the same "concerns" with a new one added in to just throw me off. It's quite irritating. Here are a few of the tactics:

"Why are you even moving way down there in the first place?" It's really only 2 1/2 hours, first off. I need to find a job ASAP. The job opportunities up here are non-existent for me unless I want to work at a factory. So I am going there for better networking, since all my colleagues are there and so I can have a better chance to get a job. I don't have any children or anything that's tying me here….so why not? (that always pisses her off)

"How do you know that Boo Thang's mama wants you to stay there?" As I have explained 1000 times, staying with his mom is temporary until a security deposit for a new place to stay is saved. Won't be there past October….and the end of the year is pushing it. Besides, she wanted me to come down there and stay with her by myself a year and a half ago because she thought I would find a better job down there….so this isn't much of a stretch.

"How do you know you're going to be able to even find a job down there?" Well, I can't do any worse down there than I'm doing up here, can I? (Way to go for the support, though)

"What is your brother going to do if you leave? I sure wish you would think about that and not leave him here by himself!!" Umm….you do know he is 22 years old right? He's not a baby and if people would quit having that attitude about the situation, everyone would be better off. He's a guy. He has to learn how to make it on his own at SOME point.

"Why are you running away?" (This is in reference to my dad getting married.) I'm not running away. This decision was made long before I even knew they were getting married. We are just moving south and not north like we originally planned for money's sake. Them getting married just made the decision all the more comforting.

To do this once a week is really exhausting. I love my Granny to death. I really do….but a little support is all I'm asking for. Can I get ONE thing? 

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TAG: 7 Random Things About Me

I love these things!! I was tagged by my Twitter pal and play cousin ConvertingME. Here are the rules: list 7 random things about yourself and answer a couple of questions.

7 Random Things

1. I love oatmeal, so much so that oatmeal is more than breakfast. It's lunch, a side dish for dinner and a midnight snack. Give me cinnamon, sugar and some apples and I am a happy woman……for at least a few hours.

2.  I don't like for my foods to touch on my plate. I consider my a foodie, but I need to taste everything individually. I've been that way ever since I was a little girl. I would literally cry if green beans touched my mac and cheese. Repeated scolding that sounded like "It's all going to the same place anyway" never really worked. I'm almost 28 and I stop short of needing compartment plates, lol.

3. I am really anti-social, which is so unlike the Leo that I should be. When I want to hang around people, I am a social butterfly. But when I want to be alone, that can last for weeks. Don't bother me, don't ask me to go anywhere, don't show up at my house. I need ample notice of a girl's night out or people coming over so that I can put on my social face.

4. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is pick up my Blackberry off the nightstand. I check my email and Twitter all before I get out of bed. I'm probably a little TOO connected.

5. I have people that I have met through Twitter or through the blogosphere that are closer friends to me than people I've met in real life. It's kinda weird, but it is what it is.

6. I absolutely hate moving!!! The fact that I have to be completely packed up and ready to go in 18 days freaks me out. I hate the act of packing up my life and I hate having to unpack it in the new destination. We haven't fully unpacked from the last move, lol.

7. I couldn't live a day without music. It is my driving force. I have a song for every situation and certain songs take me right back to the period in time when it first came out. I communicate with songs when I can't find the words to say what I need to.

Q&A Session:

• Favorite Color: Red!
• Favorite Song: Ready Or Not by After 7 (I first heard this song when I was 7 or 8 years old at a pagent. It's been my favorite ever since.)
• Favorite Dessert: I don't really like dessert but my favorite sweet thing is Blue Bell Buttered Pecan Ice Cream
• Biggest Pet Peeve: Repeating myself a lot during a conversation. I feel like when I'm talking to people, they should be listening. I hate having to have conversations twice with people.
• When You are Upset, You: Rant. I just go completely off. Holding that stuff in makes me feel physically ill, so it's healthier that way.
• Your Favorite Pet: I've never had a real pet that I took care of outside of fish. I would really love to get a dog. Convincing Boo Thang is the hard part.
• Black or White: Black
• Biggest Fear: Spiders!! I hate them.
• Best Feature: My booty! It's an attraction, lol.
• Everyday Attitude: As long as I put in the work, it will happen for me….no matter how long it takes.
• What Is Perfection?: That exists?
• Guilty Pleasure: Eating shredded sharp cheddar cheese…..straight out the bag.

I'm Tagging

Angela @ What Is Angela Doing?

Cassandra @ Transitioning To Me

Irendi @ Recklessly Me

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Daddy Issues Much?

Graduation 2005. Crazy how I don't have a picture with me and my dad alone. 

Yesterday was Father's Day. Due to the busyness of the day, I wasn't able to post like I wanted to. What I was able to do was check into Facebook and Twitter periodically.  Why did I do that? From the moment I woke up, (yea….I check Twitter as soon as I roll over and reach for my phone) I saw all manner of fuckery a timeline filled with daddy issues. Instead of "Happy Father's Day" tweets, I saw single mothers demanding to be congratulated on that day. I saw people man bashing. I saw deadbeat dad tweets. The trending topic #ilovemydadeventhough made a brief reappearance. WTH?

I applaud single mothers. I think that they are wonderful for doing everything that need to do to raise children on their own. HOWEVER Father's Day doesn't have anything to do with them. Mother's Day was last month. Take Father's Day as a way to remember your dad if he was around or to pay tribute to a father figure. Don't man bash. Don't emasculate. Hell wish your friend that IS a good dad well wishes. All this bitterness has to stop. Who you have sex with is 100% under your control. Truth be told, that man showed all the deadbeat signs BEFORE he got you pregnant. It's done now though. Love your children and leave the bitterness alone. It doesn’t help them out in the least. And if your father wasn't around….look at this as the perfect opportunity to make sure that doesn't become a generational curse. *steps off soapbox*

Now I have a documented issue with my dad right now……but he's still my dad. He's not perfect, but he was always there and I'm sure that he's doing the best he knows how. I've always been a Daddy's girl. So I wouldn’t let anything take away from HIS holiday. I let the issues rest for the day and paid tribute to him. I got up and took him a card after church. Also went to eat lunch with him and F.S.M. (Now honestly folks….I was doing the most today because all of this was EXTRA. He got one. Not doing it again unless someone else initiates it.) It actually was a decent day. No drama at all….and that works for me. 

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Grin And Bear It?

My dad is getting remarried on July 2nd.

I have known this little tidbit of information since April, but in my mind I just thought that it wasn't going to happen. I have no problem with my dad dating. I could tell that he was getting lonely. Who could blame him? If I were married to someone for 28 years and they died, I would have an issue with loneliness myself. So when he met F.S.M. (future stepmother) back in January, I said go forth and prosper. My baby brother (total mama's boy) pitched the biggest fit about them even dating. He didn't like it, didn't stand for it. I had to log what seemed like hundreds of man hours on the phone with him to get him to realize that Daddy dating is probably a good thing. My brother was stuck on the fact that Mama hadn't even been gone but 7 months.  They had been dating a month before I met her. It was a casual meeting in Walmart of all places. You can't really tell a lot about a person in 30 minutes or so. What I did see was that she had him smiling, laughing, and giggling like a young person (which if you my dad….is strange in itself). So she was okay with me for the most part. My brother, however, was not accepting her AT ALL.

Fast forward to April. My dad and I are riding in my car to Grenada on a Spain's run (All North Mississippians know about the discount meat, lol). My feelings toward my dad at that moment were very soft and fragile. Since my dad had been dating, I haven't seen or heard from him very much. Calls to him left unanswered, text messages where voices used to be. I wanted to use that time to tell him how much I missed him and figure out what the hell was going on. Then we passed by this building and he announces, "that's the building where me and F.S.M.'s reception is going to be. Did I tell you I was getting married?" HELL NO YOU DIDN'T TELL ME AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU DIDN'T!!! That was my inside reaction. So my response was, "wow really? When?" To which he replied, "July 2nd. We've been engaged since February." SHUT. THE. FRONT. DOOR. It didn't make any sense to me. The first anniversary of my mom's death is June 15 and you mean to tell me you are ready to get married less than a month after that? But what I said was, "why so soon?" The reaction that I got from him was "because I'm grown and I don't need to be with someone 5 years to know whether or not I want to be with them!" Wow, Daddy. An overreaction and a knock to my life all in the same blow (he was off because me and Boo Thang have only been together 4 years, but whatever). I didn't like it then, but I said my congratulations. I told him that we all needed to get together with F.S.M. because I don't even know her and she's about to become a part of my family. I hadn't even seen her since we met the first time in January.

Two weeks passed until we got together for dinner. I brought Boo Thang for reinforcements. He knows when I am about to go off before I do, so he works perfectly in what could be heated discussions. F.S.M. was upset that I even asked why they were rushing. She told me that the reason I hadn't spent time with her was my fault and so was the relationship with my dad. Pump your brakes, bitch I don't even know! I told her I didn't have anything against her I just didn't know her and she was marrying my dad. Obviously this put me off. My dad was silent listening to me and her dialogue…..looking sad, not saying a word. Needless to say, I have only heard my dad's voice twice since then. Yea, I know it's June.

Yesterday would have been my mom and dad's 29th wedding anniversary. Talked to my dad and he was torn up about it. Does that sound like a man ready to get married in less than a month to you? Me either. I didn't say anything about it when we talked, but I feel like I must say something soon. As for F.S.M……no attempts to get to know me. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but she is supposed to come to me. She's trying to get in my family, NOT vice versa. My brother is in the wedding. No one asked me to even participate, though my dad really wants me to be there. I feel like I am being shut out and don't really know why. I guess I should just grin and bear it, but how?

HELP!!! Is this how I'm supposed to feel? Am I really doing something wrong?

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A New Beginning....

Today is the First Sunday of the month. The church sermon today was about getting back on track and doing a revival. I know that the pastor was referring to a spiritual revival, but I know that there are so many more aspects to life that folks need to revive. My mind went to wandering about where I am and how I may be falling short. I figure there is no time better than this day to do some self reevaluations and get some things back on track. To do this, I had to look back on my list of goals for the year that I made on New Year's Day. While this hasn't been a complete fail, I am a little off where I want to be. I have been making some steps but I love to push myself to near perfection. So here's where I stand….

Goal #1: The first task was the pass the MS bar exam…..which I failed. I was exactly 6 points away from passing. I just don't get it. I come SO close to be able to reach out and grab it and can't get to it. 

Goal #2: Still haven't got that job yet…..but I have an interview for a great job lined up. Not necessarily in my career path….but it will pay the bills until I get there.

Goal #3: As far as my weight loss goes….I have gained and lost the same 6 pounds since the beginning of the year. Even though I want to lose weight, I have not been motivated enough to actually do something about it for more than 2 weeks at a time.

Goal #4: This is one I am blowing out of the water!! I am reading more than I have been over the past 4 years. I have started a Goodreads book reading challenge and have pledged to read 25 books over the course of this year. I'm 5 down and almost finished with the 6th! Yay!

Goal #5: I am slowly but surely beginning to blog more. This is a challenge because I get intimidated by other people out there. I am starting to find my own voice though….

Goal #6: *sighs* I am not attending church regularly. BUT I have been watching church regularly on Ustream. So I am, by my own standards, making strides. The upside of watching this church on Ustream is that I will be actually setting foot in the doors regularly really soon…..which brings me to…..

Goal #7: I am going to be moving away from Oxford in 2 months!!!!! Whether or not I have a job by the end of my lease, I am going to be moving to the Jackson Metro area. Now if certain job opportunities open up….I will be moving elsewhere. But the time in Oxford is coming to an end.

Now 3 and a possible out of 7 isn't bad….but I need to get in gear NOW. So this is the updated list for the rest of the year.

Find a job. No way around it. Just has to happen.

Start studying for the Tennessee and Louisiana bar exams. I really feel like that this is a sign that Mississippi is not my final resting place. It's time to get moving. I thought that I could only take the Mississippi bar 3 times but after this fail attempt, they sent me the paperwork for a retest. I don't know if I want to go through this with the state of Mississippi again. I will try for reciprocity later in life if I want to come home and practice.

Lose this weight. It's really getting ridiculous now. I saw a recent picture of myself that made me ask "what happened?" I am starting to have big girl issues….and I am afraid, lol. Tomorrow is the day. No excuses. Just got to get moving.

Continue in my walk with God. It's one of the few things that is giving me life right now. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about my faith.

How are doing with your New Year's resolutions? Are you keeping up or falling short?

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Vacation Into Motivation

Today is my first day back at home from a 2 week vacation with Boo Thang to visit his family. His little sister and cousin who he considers a little brother graduated from high school. Since their graduations were a week apart, we just decided to stay down there until they both were finished. I love visiting his family. They have the family relationships that I wish I had growing up. It's always fun. But I must say that I am happy to be back home with my TV, computer, internet access and the ability to sit on my ass if I so desire, lol.

That two weeks was the biggest test run. In two months, I am probably going to be following my boyfriend home. Job opportunities in this little corner of North Mississippi are…..well non-existent. Especially with the money that I need to make. (Yes, need…..it's hard to settle when you have almost $100K in student loan debt) His mom is totally cool with me staying down there until I get on my feet. She actually has been trying to get me to move down there without him since I got laid off exactly a year ago. So while I was there I did a lot of networking and job applications and inquiries…..and lucked up on a job interview in two weeks. YAY!!!! This is my first job interview in a YEAR!!!  This really boosted my confidence a whole lot. It will make me feel good to start making substantial money again. Then I can start saving up for bar fees and start that race over again.

This turned into Boo Thang wanting to go apartment hunting. He's really not trying to live with his mom for any long stretches of time. He is in super saver mode already, lol. I can understand that. I have lived on my own since I was 22. And we have lived together pretty sufficient since 2009. Hopefully this doesn't strain our relationship any. I think that the power moves that we made while we were down there was something that we both needed. A change of scenery is something that we both need. Keep us in your prayers!

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What Could You Possibly Know About Sports, Little Woman?

(Forgive my image, I thought it was hilarious….and proved my point all at the same time.)


One of my biggest pet peeves is being dismissed. By this I mean having my thoughts or opinions cast off because the person hearing them thinks that I don't know what I'm talking about. What really bothers me is when men do it. Most of the time, it has an air of "Aww, how cute! It's a woman talking about ______." Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I am a football junkie. I eat, sleep and breathe NFL football (and NCAA football for the sole purpose of NFL scouting). I watch SportsCenter and NFL Total Access religiously. I also follow several teams on the Bleacher Report (link). Bottom line, I know my stuff.

Let's face it, most of my sports related conversations are with men because a lot women just aren't into sports (or they love basketball…which makes it worse). So the problem always comes when I'm talking about sports with men. No matter what I say men look at me like "what could you possibly know about sports, little woman?" This irritates me to no end!! Then not only do they question my sports knowledge, they start talking down to me like I'm a child. Being the person that I am, I never back down from a challenge. I just go there with them until they are blue in the face. What I've found out from these encounters is that there are two types of men.

1. A LOT of men that pretend to be football fans. They would rather discredit me as a woman than let me continue to chop their balls off while I kill them with my superior knowledge. These are the men that watch a few episodes of Sports Center so that they can be considered one of guys but don't know anymore than what Skip Bayless, Chris Berman and Mel Kiper told them. Deep down inside they are embarrassed that a woman knows more than them. These men make me laugh because I love to sniff out a fraud.
2. Male sports fans are generally sexist. Point blank. Period. These are the easiest to win over though. A woman with extensive sports knowledge is considered to be somewhat of a unicorn. Our purpose is generally served by making their lives hell when they are watching the game and making the best pre-game snacks (sorry ladies…..that's what some of us do *shrugs*). After 30 minutes of blank stares, I will have new male friend.

Boo Thang loves my love of football and stimulates my sports mind all the time. That I am thankful for….or he would have to go…..

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Back From Another Blog Vacation....

Dang....I can't believe that the last time I posted here was February 9th. This hiatus was actually needed. I took the Mississippi Bar Exam last week. I had been studying for about 6 months full time. Those last couple of weeks were crunch time.

The bar exam was 3 days worth of mental hell and if I see any of the essay drafters I am fucking them up on sight mentally taxing....to say the least. I don't know how I feel about it. The first day was kinda difficult. All Mississippi state law. 6 essays. One hour a piece. I totally messed up the Unified Chancery Practice and Business Organization questions. The second day was WAY too easy....makes up for the first day. The third day was the multiple choice MBE. *sighs* I can only hope for the best. Results come out in mid-April.

Now that I am unrestricted and my mind is clear, I can give my all to my blog. Get ready, readers!

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