Day 8: Worst Job You Ever Had

November 30, 2010

This is a very easy one!! The worst job that I have ever had was being a bill collector. I have had that job TWICE!!! The first time I was collecting for HSBC, Wells Fargo and Walmart credit cards. The second time I was collecting on bad checks. Personally I don't answer the phone on bill collectors when I don't have the money to pay them. That's exactly what people were doing to me. People had bad attitudes. And I started working as a bill collector when the economy tanked. *sighs* I hated hearing all these hard luck stories and it hurt me to ask people for hundreds of dollars in one lump sum. I was WAY too soft hearted for that job.

Day 7: Best Job You've Ever Had

November 29, 2010

(Hey you guys! Of course I am back from hiatus after this long holiday weekend....but I'm back!!)

I have had many jobs in my life, some good and some bad. Giving where I am right now, I would probably kill to have some of those jobs back. Others I wouldn't pay anyone to take, lol. I would have to say that the best job that I have ever had was one where I did not get paid. People think that it's crazy but it's true. My favorite "job" was doing clinic work during law school. During my third year, I worked as a guardian ad litem in our Child Advocacy Clinic. For a whole semester, I worked as the "voice" and legal representation for children who were involved in custody battles, adoptions, emancipations, abuse cases. This was the most rewarding and tough thing that I have ever had to do. For as long as I could remember, I wanted to work in child advocacy. It was even part of my personal statement in my law school application. To finally be able to do that tickled my fancy. It shocked me the things that people could do to children, they way that parents use them as pawns in their sick and twisted games. I went home and cried a lot of nights because of the craziness that I was subjected to throughout the day. It made me look at the world in a very different light. I know for sure that my legal career will be spent in large part working for the benefit of those who can't afford legal services or can't be their own voice. I am very grateful for that experience.

Day 6: Five Favorite Songs

November 23, 2010

This is a very appropriate day for this post. I am a lover of music, so I am doing a concurrent 30 Day Music Challenge on my Tumblr. Here are my five favorites in no particular order.

  1. Ready or Not - After 7: This is my favorite song of all time. I first heard this song at a local pageant and something about it always stuck with me. I LOVE love songs and this one to me is a classic.
  2. Get It Shawty - Lloyd: This is my favorite song of my most favorite year.....2007.
  3. Limelight - T.I.: Urban Legend is one of my favorite albums of all time and this is the best song!
  4. Diva - Beyonce: This is my theme song!
  5. My Latest Greatest Inspiration - Teddy Pendergrass: My and my boyfriend confessed our love for each other while this song was playing.
It was hard to pick just five songs that are my favorites. I could really go on for days.

Day 5: Favorite Memory From Childhood

November 22, 2010

My favorite memory from childhood centers around my favorite birthday present. My parents used to take me to Memphis on my birthday to The Children's Museum of Memphis, which I am sure used to be called The Children's Palace. It was like a wonderland for kids....a giant play place. We used to drive an hour to get there and they would let me stay and play there almost all day! I remember the exhibits, the play grocery store and bank, the gigantic slides and climbing walls. I can't wait to take my child there. I am so happy that my parents exposed to that kind of wonder as a child. I am still a big kid today because of it.

Day 4: Places You Want To Visit

November 21, 2010

I am a lover of travel. I love to vacation and just get away from everyday life. These 10 places are on my bucket list of places to go.

  1. Las Vegas, NV: Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.....
  2. New York City, NY: I have always been a lover of musicals and plays and culture, so NYC speaks to my spirit.
  3. The Bahamas: Who doesn't love an island getaway?
  4. Jamaica: I want to see the real Jamaica though. Stabbing Jamaica....I would have to leave the resort on this trip.
  5. Los Angeles, CA
  6. Paris, France
  7. Rome, Italy
  8. Tokyo, Japan
  9. Washington, D.C.
  10. Walt Disney World: I could care less about the rest of Orlando. Just give me Mickey and Minnie, lol.

Day 3: Hometown Location and Facts

November 20, 2010

I am from one of the smallest towns in North Mississippi that I affectionately call the Valley: Water Valley, MS. The school district is very small. There is no Walmart, no Mickey D's. We just got a Subway 2 years ago. Sonic was the only place to eat for years, lol. I never want to go back there to live. EVER. Not just because of these things, but because of the atmosphere associated with it. Because it is so small, there is no where to work. You have to travel at least 20 miles to find a job. The attitude of the people is a destitute one and I am afraid to go back there and get stuck.

The most interesting thing about my hometown has to be the yearly Watermelon Carnival. It is an arts and crafts festival that attracts thousands of people. It turns into a homecoming of sorts for people. Class reunions are always held during that time. I haven't been since right after my freshman year in college. But next year is my 10 year class reunion. Wow.

Day 2: How Did You Get Your Blog/Tumblr Name

November 19, 2010

My blog name really was the easiest thing. The blog that I started in 2002 was named Thoughts of a Southern Diva. It was a personal blog, therefore it was filled with my thoughts. I have always considered myself a diva. I am a girly girl in every sense of the word. I love bags, shoes and clothes. I live in the South. Thus the blog was born! Law school kept me so busy that I was unable to give any extra energy to blogging. So once I started back, I wanted to acknowdlge my new accomplishments. Now I am being more honest and truthful, my posts seem to be more confession like. So Confessions of a Southern Legal Diva is my blog nanme. When I joined Tumblr last month, I wanted the same theme. My anthem is Diva by Diva is a Female Version of a Hustler.. was born.

Check out my concurrent Tumblr challenge ---> Diva is a Female Version of a Hustler

Day 1: Photo of you along with ten facts

November 18, 2010

Hello new and old readers!! Welcome to Confessions of a Southern Legal Diva.....again! Here are 10 random facts about me.

  1. I am a southern girl through and through. I was born in Alabama and have been living in Mississippi for most of my life. I wouldn't dream of living anywhere else other than the South.....but my stay in Mississippi is nearing it's end.
  2. I'm very opinionated and don't mind sharing those opinions with anyone who asks. BUT I am very shy. It takes me a while to warm up to people. This makes people think that I am stuck up when they first meet me when I am actually just warming up to them.
  3. I haven't cut my hair since 2000. I had a very bad haircut in the 11th grade when my hairstylist took me from mid-back length to ear length and blamed it on split ends. ('ve been doing my hair for THIS long and you let it get that way. Yea, right....) I keep it trimmed, but I have a panic attack anytime someone gets too close to my head with scissors.
  4. I was a band geek. I played clarinet, bass clarinet, and tenor saxophone from the 5th grade all throughout college. I took lessons, did competitions, and even minored in music in college. I love music and all things that come with it. Which brings me to.....
  5. I am a member of the wonderful Sigma Alpha Iota, International Music Fraternity for Women. I crossed on a line of 7 young ladies on April 28, 2002. Sisterhood is wonderful in any form or fashion. I have always had to defend my Greek choices to those in the Divine Nine....but I wouldn't change it for the world. EeeeeOTA!
  6. I love football! I live and breathe NCAA and NFL football. I get sad after the Super Bowl and I follow off season news all the way until the preseason starts. My favorite pro team is the Carolina Panthers and my favorite college team is the Ole Miss Rebels.
  7. I love to cook. It probably sounds old fashioned, but being in the kitchen calms me. I hate to clean though. Washing dishes is not really my thing.
  8. I am a serial monogamist. I do some casual dating but I thrive in relationships....until they end and then I am back to casual dating.
  9. I love to read. Curling up with a good book is the perfect ending to a day. I am currently reading. What Keeps Me Standing by Dennis Kimbro.
  10. I am a Twitter addict. If I'm not tweeting, I'm reading tweets. I tend to have a lot to say.
Check out my concurrent Tumblr challenge ---> Diva is a Female Version of a Hustler

A 30 Day "Getting to Know the Diva" Challenge

A couple of months back I started to do a 30 day letter writing challenge. As of today's date, I am on day 11. I know. That's kinda sad. I am really just figuring out why I can't (...and at this point WON'T) finish that challenge. That challenge asked me to write a lot of personal letters to people on my blog. These are issues that I have either already dealt with privately or am in the process of figuring out where I am on them. The eleven letters I did write opened up a Pandora's box of emotions on me. I will continue going through that in private. But not on my blog anymore. It tended to bring the tone of my blog down into a depressing one. I am really a generally happy person.

So I found something new that serves a new purpose. This is a fairly new blog that I would love to see gain the readership of some of the ones that I have had in the past. But why should people want to? This is a personal blog, so people should get to know the person who is doing the writing. Voila! The Getting to Know Diva challenge! Over the next 30 days I will be giving my readers a better insight into what makes me tick, what I love, hate, live and breathe. This is being done in conjunction with a 30 day music challenge that I am doing on Tumblr. I will post that days link here with this one as I am certain to be updating them at the same time. Here is what I will be getting into for the next 30 days.

Day 01 - Photo of you along with ten facts
Day 02 - How you got your blog/tumblr name
Day 03 - Hometown location and facts
Day 04 - Ten Places you want to visit
Day 05 - Favorite memory from childhood
Day 06 - Five favorite songs
Day 07 - Best job you ever had
Day 08 - Worst job you ever had
Day 09 - Best day of your life
Day 10 - Worst day of your life
Day 11 - A sport you love to watch/play
Day 12 - Describe your day with a picture
Day 13 - Favorite season and why
Day 14 - Something you’re addicted to
Day 15 - What decade do you think you should have been born in?
Day 16 - What did you want to be as a child
Day 17 - Favorite genre of movies
Day 18 - Favorite class/school subject
Day 19 - If you were a teacher, what subject would you teach?Day 20 - Five people you are happy with right now (no names)
Day 21 - Person you can’t live without
Day 22 - Describe your relationship status
Day 23 - Five people you are annoyed with right now (no names)
Day 24 - If you could change your first name, what would you change it to
Day 25 - Favorite stores to buy clothes from
Day 26 - Favorite book
Day 27 - College you are attending or want to attend
Day 28 - Career goals
Day 29 - Ten life goals
Day 30 - Anything you want to post about


….is one thing that I have a LOT of. I know that you shouldn't be an overly proud person, but I can't help it. I have always been this way. I think I was fiercely independent from the moment I stepped out of the womb. My parents have always fussed at me for not asking for any help. I think that this is very strange because most parents fuss because they want their child to STOP asking them for help. I wish I could pinpoint this to a particular moment in time but I can't. Anytime there has been something that I didn't know how to do I always made it a point to find out how to do it. I hate asking for help on most things because I hate that vulnerable feeling. I don't like to rely on people when there is a possibility that they wouldn't come through for me. I guess that means I have trust issues.

I am having to learn how to swallow my pride a WHOLE lot in the past couple of months. Between being laid off, paying bills, studying for the bar, and trying to get my life together……I am having to ask for a lot more help than I am used to. I hate it. I don't like to be under scrutiny. I hate feeling like I'm annoying people when I want to help me do something. I just have always felt that if I can always do it for myself, I won't have any reason to be disappointed with anyone but me. I'm working on it though. I am realizing that this line of thinking is causing me way more grief than I need at this point. I stay stressed all the time….so I will work on letting others in.

I Don't Think I Owe You Anything....

November 15, 2010

This weekend was my grandmother's 71st birthday. YAY!! The whole family got together last year to celebrate her 70th. It was a huge and great celebration because it was a surprise and Ms. Grandma (yep, that's what I call her!) had no idea that my aunt and uncle (her two youngest) were coming home from Minnesota. Those were happy times because everyone was home. *sighs* *nostalgia*

This year was.....a bit different. My mom, of course, was missed. It was just my dad, my brother, and I. We got flowers and cards and visited. All good things. What trips me out seems that now no matter what I do, it is never enough to people. Here is where we enter the dreaded forced family gatherings. The day after her birthday we all go down to see her because she is really sad because she misses my mom. It's only been 5 months (today, actually) and I miss her like the dickens too! I personally just don't see the point of spending your birthday sad and depressed. The Lord blessed you with another year.....don't waste it. Anyway, I digress. We get down there and we talk about church for hours. We listen to tears about my mom (they go there....I don't). And the whole time I am just ready to go home. Afterwards I get multiple calls about my attitude: You didn't act like you wanted to be there. You should be more comforting to people because they miss your mom like you do. Why don't you respond to the fifty-leven people who I give your number out to without asking when they want talk about your mom? *side eye*

I'm irritated because it has come to me that people look to me (a little too much) to bring comfort to other people when it comes to dealing with my mother's death. I think that I am handling my grief pretty well for it to still be fresh. I have my down days. Hell I'm supposed to. BUT there are things that I can not and will not do in my time of grief.
  1. I will not use every holiday, birthday, or day that ends in Y to find reasons to just be depressed because everyone expects me to. My mother was a very strong person. I am a lot like her in certain aspects. She was a pretty happy my biggest tribute to her will be to just stay positive and not let this define the rest of my life (...that actually was one of the last conversations that I had with her)
  2. I don't owe anybody ANYTHING. I lost my mother. This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through in my life. Therefore, if you are not calling me to see how I am doing and to offer me words of encouragement then I am not obligated to talk to you. I am not obligated to talk to you then. I'm sorry if I'm not making you feel better about it....but there is nothing I can tell you. This is new to me too. Be an encouragement, not a drain....maybe then I will answer the phone.
  3. The way I handle my grief is exactly that. No, I don't break down in tears all willy nilly. Actually it's been exactly 2 months since I've shed one tear. That doesn't mean that I don't miss her or that I don't care. I'm just handling things the best way I know how. Do you and I will do me.
  4. Hell no I'm not going to the cemetery. It is too fresh for me and I am NOT ready. So don't ask me anymore. I will eventually get back there....but not anytime too soon. I am so happy that talking to her there helps you. Keep doing that. Personally, I don't think she is there. If I talk to the ground, it's not going to talk back. Soooo.....yea.
I had to snap off because of all the flack I have been catching over this short period of time. It drains me. I wish she were here......that way when I got tired of snapping, she would pick up my slack. Thanks for blessing me with the gift of sassy and snappiness, Mama. Sometimes you need it.

Happy Black Girl Day From The Legal Diva!!!

November 10, 2010

Happy Black Girl Day!!!! For everyone who doesn't know, Happy Black Girl Day was created by Sista Toldja. It is celebrated every second Wednesday of every month. Ever since I started reading The Beautiful Struggler, I have been on board for each occurrence of this wonderful idea.

Today I feel SO uplifted and proud to be a black woman. I watched the premiere and the encore of Black Girls Rock! that was shown on BET. That was the most uplifting thing that I have EVER seen on BET.....and I watch a lot of BET. This is mostly because this is not a BET creation, but a dream and vision from Beverly Bond and her Black Girls Rock organization. Here is a little bit about it.

BLACK GIRLS ROCK! Inc. is 501(c)3 non-profit youth empowerment and mentoring organization established to promote the arts for young women of color, as well as to encourage dialogue and analysis of the ways women of color are portrayed in the media.
Since 2006, BLACK GIRLS ROCK! has been dedicated to the healthy development of young women and girls. BLACK GIRLS ROCK! seeks to build the self-esteem and self-worth of young women of color by changing their outlook on life, broadening their horizons, and helping them to empower themselves. For the past four years, we have enjoyed the opportunity to enrich the lives of girls aged 12 to 17 years old through mentorship, arts education, cultural exploration and public service. At BLACK GIRLS ROCK!, young women are offered access to enrichment programs and opportunities that place special emphasis on personal development through the arts and cooperative learning.
By speaking to the next generation in their formative years about issues of self-worth, goals, and aspirations, the organization reinforces the message that young women need not objectify themselves or relinquish their autonomy. BLACK GIRLS ROCK! has boldly taken on the crisis of our female youth of color here in America head on and understands the need for positive self-images and a strong sense of awareness. WE SEE SOLUTIONS.

Wow, right?! The awards ceremony on BET gave shout outs to women and girls known and unknown. There were so many positive affirmations on this show that I was in tears by the end of the broadcast on Sunday and I had to watch it again last night. *sighs* Sometimes as black women you need those positive affirmations. Especially when everything that you see on TV about you is negative. I personally am not one of those weave wearing, tooth sucking, neck and eye rolling, loud, ghetto, welfare receiving, 3 baby daddy having, ethnic name carrying, uneducated women. Neither are the majority of my friends. We are proud black women out here striving for excellence. The world would rather that nobody knew we existed. I would imagine that it is hard for a young black girl to have dreams of grandeur about the life she wants to have with all the negative imagery around them. Hell....sometimes it's hard for me. By negative imagery, I am not just talking about TV, I'm really referring to the things you see and live everyday.
This organization seems to be centered in Brooklyn. My thoughts have been, "why isn't there something like this in Mississippi?" or "shouldn't something like this have chapters?" Then I remembered that one of Twitter friends, Kira, has an organization that is really similar called Why Not Wait? These things only exist because black women like her and hopefully me create them and hit the ground running. I would absolutely love to create a Mississippi based awards ceremony like Black Girls Rock so that our young women can get that same sense of empowerment that I am feeling today. The new thing that I have taped to my bathroom mirror is the Black Girls Rock pledge. I hope to live this everyday. Enjoy and HAPPY BLACK GIRLS DAY!!!
I am a Black girl. My life is important. I am the continuation of a history, legacy and tradition of powerful people. The lives of my fore mothers now have meaning through me. I stand today because of who they were.
I am a Black girl. My presence is essential. I am a demonstration of the past, an inspiration for the future and I represent the unlimited possibilities of the present moment.
I am a Black girl. I have a voice. I say the important things that need to be said. I do not waste my voice on gossip, slander or disrespect of myself, my sisters or other people. I know the power of the spoken word and I use my words wisely.
I am a Black girl. I know my worth. I hold myself in high esteem because I value who I am. I treat myself with loving care, respect and honor. I honor and hold sacred my mind, my body and my heart.
I am a Black girl. I am committed and confident. I am committed to a future that holds great possibilities for me, my family, and the world. As I move confidently into my next most appropriate steps, I am inspired by life and I inspire others.
I am a Black girl. I have a vision for myself and a vision for my life. It is a vision anchored in love, propelled by integrity and advanced by faith. I am committed to learning how I can improve all aspects of myself so that I will be the best me that I can be.
I am a Black girl. I am not intimidated by anyone or anything. I bow to no one and nothing save my Creator. I move with elegance, grace, and ease, effortlessly accomplishing all that I set my heart and mind to do when it serves my highest and greatest good.
I am a Black girl. My life is connected to a loving Creator who protects and guides me at all times. Therefore, I am humble and honorable; patient and powerful; focused and flexible; determined and dynamic; loved and loving.
I am a Black girl. I say it, therefore I am it!
I AM life overflowing!
I AM success manifesting!
I AM confidence in action!
I AM fearless and free!
I AM commitment that moves obstacles!
I AM inspiration unfolding!
I AM pure love!
I AM a Black girl and I ROCK!!
- Dr. Iyanla Vanzant

My Healthy Hair Journey

November 7, 2010

So I wake one morning about 2 weeks ago and I'm thinking to hair has stopped growing. It is breaking off, it's dry.....what is going on? I am thoroughly convinced that stress has gotten to my hair. Well....that along with not really caring for my hair that much. I must admit that my hair hasn't really been on the top of things-to-do list. I always want it to LOOK good. So I have been doing some quick weaves and using a LOT of heat on my hair to keep it looking decent. The downside is that I have fried the shit out of my hair. I miss my nice, shiny looking, LONG hair. So over the past week or so I have decided that I am going to start a healthy hair journey and implement a hair regimen. Let me tell you....researching about hair is a very, VERY time consuming thing. So many people have differing opinions about what you are supposed to do and how you are supposed to do it. So after days of research I decided to join Hairlista, which is a forum for black women who are going through healthy hair journeys of their own with tips and tricks. I also took to YouTube, which led me to Megz's YouTube Channel. They have equipped me with SO much information. The thing that I like about these two sites is that the ladies are RELAXED!!! You hear that can have long and healthy hair WITH a relaxer. I am not planning to go natural anywhere in the near future, so this really tickled my fancy.

In preparation I have bought so many different products. I hope they work. Here is the state of my hair: I am already 4 weeks post relaxer. My next relaxer will be on December 22. I am stretching 11 weeks.....I wanted to do 12.....but I need a fresh Christmas relaxer. I refuse to compromise on that one. I looked up my hair type. I am a type 4a, which in a nutshell means that my hair has a kinky-curly S shaped pattern. I have shoulder length hair. My goal is to have it arm pit length in year's time (which is subject to change because I am always threatening to cut it).

Look at my raggedy lol. Excuse the rolls. Working on that too....see my weight loss challenge, lol.

These are my products for my regimen.

These are my shampoos. I will be washing my hair once a week. I use my ORS shampoo once a month because it's a clarifying shampoo and strips my hair of all buildup. I use my ORS conditioner afterwards. Every other week, I use the Pantene. I deep condition for at least 45 minutes.

These are my leave-in conditioners. I use the Herbal Essences after every wash and the Cantu every night before bed.

These are my oils. I will be experimenting with all of these. I use these to oil my scalp and the seal my hair after I moisturize at night.

These are the products that I use when I use heat on my hair (flat irons, curling irons, blow dryers). I will only be using heat ONCE a month....I hope.

So that's that. I will check back in after my next relaxer. Wish me luck!!!
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