Oh Granny....

July 16, 2011

Who doesn't love their grandmother? I do!! She can cook her ass off, was great for the weekend getaway when I was tired of my parents and she's sweet as pie. Since my mom died last year, Ms. Grandma (yes, that's what I call her) has been abnormally clingy. Since my mom is her daughter and we are the only grandkids that still live in state (and only an hour away), I didn't mind that she wanted to see more of us. That was until my visits became not enough. Since Mother's Day, I've been on strike until I get some kind of inkling that my feelings are being respected and taken into account. Not to mention that my days are pretty full with looking for a job, coordinating a move and just trying to regain a sense of normalcy, and trying to get my car fixed. I just really haven't felt like being bothered. I know that's kinda awful. I feel bad about it….a little bit.

Last night, Ms. Grandma calls me and the tone is harsh from the first hello. No "hey, how you doing" just "y'all just don't call me at all no more, huh?!" *sighs* I JUST TALKED TO HER a few days ago. This call was one to convince me not to move. As have the last few calls have been. That's the real reason she's angry. Every time we talk it's all the same "concerns" with a new one added in to just throw me off. It's quite irritating. Here are a few of the tactics:

"Why are you even moving way down there in the first place?" It's really only 2 1/2 hours, first off. I need to find a job ASAP. The job opportunities up here are non-existent for me unless I want to work at a factory. So I am going there for better networking, since all my colleagues are there and so I can have a better chance to get a job. I don't have any children or anything that's tying me here….so why not? (that always pisses her off)

"How do you know that Boo Thang's mama wants you to stay there?" As I have explained 1000 times, staying with his mom is temporary until a security deposit for a new place to stay is saved. Won't be there past October….and the end of the year is pushing it. Besides, she wanted me to come down there and stay with her by myself a year and a half ago because she thought I would find a better job down there….so this isn't much of a stretch.

"How do you know you're going to be able to even find a job down there?" Well, I can't do any worse down there than I'm doing up here, can I? (Way to go for the support, though)

"What is your brother going to do if you leave? I sure wish you would think about that and not leave him here by himself!!" Umm….you do know he is 22 years old right? He's not a baby and if people would quit having that attitude about the situation, everyone would be better off. He's a guy. He has to learn how to make it on his own at SOME point.

"Why are you running away?" (This is in reference to my dad getting married.) I'm not running away. This decision was made long before I even knew they were getting married. We are just moving south and not north like we originally planned for money's sake. Them getting married just made the decision all the more comforting.

To do this once a week is really exhausting. I love my Granny to death. I really do….but a little support is all I'm asking for. Can I get ONE thing? 

TAG: 7 Random Things About Me

July 13, 2011

I love these things!! I was tagged by my Twitter pal and play cousin ConvertingME. Here are the rules: list 7 random things about yourself and answer a couple of questions.

7 Random Things

1. I love oatmeal, so much so that oatmeal is more than breakfast. It's lunch, a side dish for dinner and a midnight snack. Give me cinnamon, sugar and some apples and I am a happy woman……for at least a few hours.

2.  I don't like for my foods to touch on my plate. I consider my a foodie, but I need to taste everything individually. I've been that way ever since I was a little girl. I would literally cry if green beans touched my mac and cheese. Repeated scolding that sounded like "It's all going to the same place anyway" never really worked. I'm almost 28 and I stop short of needing compartment plates, lol.

3. I am really anti-social, which is so unlike the Leo that I should be. When I want to hang around people, I am a social butterfly. But when I want to be alone, that can last for weeks. Don't bother me, don't ask me to go anywhere, don't show up at my house. I need ample notice of a girl's night out or people coming over so that I can put on my social face.

4. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is pick up my Blackberry off the nightstand. I check my email and Twitter all before I get out of bed. I'm probably a little TOO connected.

5. I have people that I have met through Twitter or through the blogosphere that are closer friends to me than people I've met in real life. It's kinda weird, but it is what it is.

6. I absolutely hate moving!!! The fact that I have to be completely packed up and ready to go in 18 days freaks me out. I hate the act of packing up my life and I hate having to unpack it in the new destination. We haven't fully unpacked from the last move, lol.

7. I couldn't live a day without music. It is my driving force. I have a song for every situation and certain songs take me right back to the period in time when it first came out. I communicate with songs when I can't find the words to say what I need to.

Q&A Session:

  • Favorite Color: Red!
  • Favorite Song: Ready Or Not by After 7 (I first heard this song when I was 7 or 8 years old at a pagent. It's been my favorite ever since.)
  • Favorite Dessert: I don't really like dessert but my favorite sweet thing is Blue Bell Buttered Pecan Ice Cream
  • Biggest Pet Peeve: Repeating myself a lot during a conversation. I feel like when I'm talking to people, they should be listening. I hate having to have conversations twice with people.
  • When You are Upset, You: Rant. I just go completely off. Holding that stuff in makes me feel physically ill, so it's healthier that way.
  • Your Favorite Pet: I've never had a real pet that I took care of outside of fish. I would really love to get a dog. Convincing Boo Thang is the hard part.
  • Black or White: Black
  • Biggest Fear: Spiders!! I hate them.
  • Best Feature: My booty! It's an attraction, lol.
  • Everyday Attitude: As long as I put in the work, it will happen for me….no matter how long it takes.
  • What Is Perfection?: That exists?
  • Guilty Pleasure: Eating shredded sharp cheddar cheese…..straight out the bag.

I'm Tagging

Irendi @ Recklessly Me

Can Beyonce' Catch A Break?

July 6, 2011

It's summer time so you know what that means…….BEYONCE'S BACK!!!!!! Now I'm going to make a confession. I'm a bit of a Beyonce stan. I love almost everything that she does. I love her messages of female empowerment. I love how she creates trends. I love how she is a female force that doesn't back down in the presence of men. Oh yea….I love her music too. I also love the fact that every summer she does something that forces my fluffy ass back in the gym to lose my winter weight and that her music is a great workout soundtrack.

Somehow, Beyonce seems to catch heavy scrutiny any time she does anything. And the scrutiny usually comes from other women (big surprise here). I was lingering around YouTube and found this video. 

First of all let me say that I like Nineteen Percent. Her vlogs and way of delivery are hilarious to me while saying a lot of things that other people just think about. However, I feel like she missed the ball with this one. These statistics and facts that she spouted off in this particular vlog are things that I think women should be aware of. By all means get the word out about discriminatory salary practices among genders in the workplace, sexual harassment, domestic violence, female infanticide in other countries, rape, and the all too common objectification of women. Women need to know what they are up against to be better activists. This video just goes about it the wrong way. She just complaining a lot. It's one thing to be aware of the many issues facing women. It's totally another thing just spout out a bunch of information with no solutions on how to fix it. AND it's a whole OTHER thing to blame these problems on another woman.

How is Beyonce a liar when it comes to this song? Is it so wrong to have a female empowerment anthem? Granted, I think this song is crap, but it doesn’t make me that angry. I never think that it is a bad idea to have little girls everywhere thinking that they can do anything and be anything that they want to be. The way to ensure that women will never transcend the station they are in life is to spout off a bunch of negative information at them and to discard any ounce of a positive message. Let's try this on for size. Let Beyonce do the entertaining and all of us caring women should do our part to help the younger generation not face the issues that prompted Nineteen Percent to call Beyonce out in the first place.

What do you think? Are songs like Beyonce's Run The World presenting an impossible message to young ladies?

The Wedding - Drama Edition

July 5, 2011

So my dad got married this past Saturday. *throws confetti* As much as I was trying to be supportive and go along with this whole match made in heaven  wedded bliss  thing, deep down inside I felt like I was just lying. And I was gonna keep on lying if that made my dad feel good. What else do you do for your parents? Hope for the best, right? Well….it wasn't quite that way.

Friday: I was just going along trying to get ready for the wedding. Trying to get my hair done, pick out my dress, get my makeup and shoes right. I learned early in life that even if you don't feel 100% about something, looking the part makes it that much easier. The diva in me was trying to get right, lol. I was out with my little brother just talking and chilling when my dad calls him about the rehearsal. I can hear him on the phone telling him that the rehearsal was at 6 and asking what time were we coming down. We? Excuse me, I am not going down there for a rehearsal. I am not in the wedding. There is no reason for me to be there if I'm not rehearsing for anything. My brother told him as much. Then he wants to get all mad and upset talking about the rehearsal dinner. If I'm not mistaken….isn't that for the people in the wedding? Never got married before, but all the weddings I've been in have followed that protocol. He sounded so hurt that I wasn't coming that I decided to go down there anyway. What could it hurt? I was only being a spectator. Well I get there and find out that I am being escorted in like they normally escort the mothers and grandmothers in. Weird, but I went along with it. In my mind I thought, "this is the concession F.S.M. made because too many folks told her she was dead ass wrong for not asking me to be apart of this wedding." One thing was VERY clear from the 3 hour rehearsal. This wedding was completely thrown together. But then again, it kinda has to be when you meet someone in January and marry them in July. It had no order. And they were leaving out parts of the vows. Not just the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part…..but other stuff. It was just very strange. What did I do? Help the wedding coordinator work out the kinks in the service and help with the logistics. I think I owed it to my dad not to have go through a completely ghetto service. By 9 PM, I was finally headed home. Long night ahead of me because messing around with an unplanned rehearsal and dinner caused me NOT to get my hair done.

The Wedding: I am habitually late to things that don't have anything to do with work. Can't help it. I'm my father's daughter. This time my brother stopped by the apartment beforehand to talk…..took an hour off my get ready time. So I'm freaking out. I end up being 10 minutes late to the wedding…….since I live 20 minutes away from the church. Damn. I felt so bad about that. Still feel guilty about it today to be perfectly honest. I know what you all are thinking…..but I wasn't late on purpose. I had a plan that got me there 30 minutes early. No dice. They said they were going to wait on me. But they didn't. By my estimates, when my brother told me they were waiting, the moment he hung up the phone they started. Because this was the most abbreviated wedding ceremony in the history of black folks weddings…..they were lighting the unity candle when I got there. I WAS TEN MINUTES LATE!! WHAT THE HELL? It made me sad. I felt like I let people down. BUT…..my other self that is trying to be more concerned about my own feelings was mad that my dad couldn't wait 10 minutes for his only daughter to get there.  My brother told me that the words that came out of his mouth was "Is F.S.M. here? Well that's all that matters so we're gonna start." Took a chunk out of my heart. He decided to confront me after the wedding. That caused a scene. Boo Thang is the type that when he sees tears roll down my face, he's trying to figure whose ass needs to be kicked. He was fine until he heard my dad say and I quote "If it had been anything else you would have been on time. You've been against this since day one. I deserve to have somebody. I gave you her number to try to get to know her and if you don't like it, I don't care, you can just leave." Wow. And Boo Thang snapped. Hard. Don't even remember what all he said….just know that he did some heavy duty, in church cursing. Then my brother jumped in on my dad and more cursing ensued. I'm a little bit embarrassed…..but vindicated at the same time. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. But I do give my little brother and Boo Thang props for having my back. Haven't talked to my dad since. He caught me when I was leaving trying to hug me and tell me he loved me and was sorry…..but it wasn't his day so what could he do? I don't know, Daddy….that one you have to figure out on your own. I take the blame for some stuff….but in other things, I just can't help how I feel. People kept trying to make it  seem like I have an issue with the marriage when what I really have an issue with is our relationship since he met that woman….I guess now I have to call her S.M. (sounds kinda dirty, lol).

What I did see from the wedding was that the matron of honor had on an identical dress to the bride…..tacky. No one else is supposed to wear white but the bride….and certainly not another wedding dress. The bridesmaids had on green cotton tops and gauchos. I don't need to say ANYTHING ELSE about that.

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