30 Day Letter Challenge: Day 3 - Your Parents

Dear Daddy,

It’s your favorite daughter! Well….it’s your only daughter but I am your favorite. I want to let you know that I love you. I know that I don’t always say it enough, but I do. It is kinda crazy that we as a family have not shown enough emotions towards each other. It’s only takes 21 days to start a new habit, so that is one that I am personally going to do.

I know that are relationship has not been the greatest one in the past. We bumped heads often during my teenage years. I thought that you were way too strict on me. I disagreed with your parenting methods and to this day I stand behind the feelings that I had back then. I know you were just doing your part to make sure that I became a well rounded young lady with goals and dreams. I felt that you could’ve loosened up a little bit. All I wanted in life was a little privacy and the chance to do the things normal teenagers my age did. So I did what normal kids in my situation did. Leave for college and LIVE!!! I did some things that probably would make you cringe….but when it was all said and done, I came back to the things that you and Mama taught me. I finished college. I graduated from law school. I became an independent woman. I can say that all of that is thanks to you and Mama.

Over the past couple of years we have gotten closer and that has made me very glad. I hope that we can grow together and become closer because you are the only Dad I have…..and the only parent I have left.

I love you always,

Daddy’s Little Girl ♥

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Case of the Ex

You know how you can go on your merry little way....loving life and doing positive things until the inevitable things happens.....the ex calls/texts your phone and makes you wanna curse. I ended my relationship with said ex in May 2007. Yeah.....it's been that long. Apparently not long enough for him. That was one of the toughest things that I had to do AT THE TIME. We had been in a relationship for 4 years....almost 5 at that point. It was the classic female response: toxic relationship, yet too much time and energy had been invested in the relationship that I didn't know how to let it go. Two very vital things happened to help me let this relationship go. It became a long distance relationship because of law school and I met someone else who, when only a friend, showed me that he was a better man and that I deserved better. (I am still with that guy today. *blushes*)

The breakup process took about 8 months because he moved away and thought that when he got back 3 months later that I would "come to my senses." *side eye* That was the worst breakup that I have ever been through.....so just his voice makes me frown. I decided to something just a little different this time....be friendly. At this point in my life I am in a better place. I took that whole relationship as a lesson learned and I am really so much better for it. You know what I found out? 3 years later, he is the same damn person. He's still a liar (...I mean really, I already heard how you got fired from teaching at that school from 2 different people. Your story is crazy as hell!). He still makes everything all about him (You called and asked about me....how did my mother's death relate to your false job story?). He still tries to shots at my self esteem (although I never let that go on too much anyway). Had to end that conversation before I went off, lol. Every time I think he will disappear.....he texts. I know that my quality of life has greatly improved in his absence. Crazy enough....I think his got worse. Too bad....so sad....

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30 Day Letter Challenge: Day 2 – Your Crush

Dear Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers,

I have followed your career since 2005 when you were the number one receiver on my first fantasy football team. You helped me to a second place finish in my league and I have been a Panthers fan ever since!! Then I saw you without your helmet on…..SEXY!!! I admire your fighting spirit. I even cheered you on when you broke Ken Lucas' nose (even though he played for my alma mater….he sucked then). Anyway, I hope I get the chance to meet you one day and get your autograph and a picture with you.

Love,

Kathryn

P.S. My boyfriend is a Saints fan and I hope you guys tear them a new one this season. GO PANTHERS!

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Book Review: Basketball Jones by E. Lynn Harris

I love to read books by black authors….let me take that back. I love to read books by black authors with substance. I don’t read Zane or others who write similarly because I can’t find the story line behind all the sex. My favorites are Eric Jerome Dickey, Terry McMillan, BeBe Moore Campbell (RIP). The story lines are complex and the characters make you long to read every word to figure out what happened to them. I hang on to their every word, lol. Every now and then, I have to let another author enter my bookshelf.

I have only read one other E. Lynn Harris book in my life, A Love of My Own. It was a great book. I had always been gun shy about E. Lynn and the reason probably sounds preposterous. I know that he was an openly gay man during his life and that his characters reflect that. I was afraid that I wouldn’t know how to take a graphic gay sex scene unfolding on the page. Silly, I know. A Love of My Own had straight main characters in addition to the gay ones…..so I never got a real feel for it. Basketball Jones changed all that. I am going to say right off that I loved this book. It is only 246 pages long and I read the majority of this book in one day. 

Here are the liner notes: “Aldridge James ‘AJ’ Richardson is living the good life. He has a gorgeous town house in always flavorful New Orleans, plenty of frequent-flier miles from jet-setting around the country on a whim, and an MBA – but he’s never had to work a regular job. He owes it all to his longtime lover, Dray Jones. Dray Jones the rich and famous NBA star. They fell in love in College when AJ was hired to tutor Dray, a freshman on the basketball team. But Dray knew if he wanted to make it to the big time, he must juggle his public image and his private desires. Built on a deep, abiding love, their hidden relationship sustains them both, but when Dray’s teammates begin to ask insinuating questions about AJ, Dray puts their doubts to rest by marrying Judi, a beautiful and ambitious woman. Judi knows nothing about Dray’s “other life.” Or does she? In Basketball Jones, E. Lynn Harris explores the consequences of loving someone who is forced to conform to the rules society demands of its public heroes. Filled with nonstop twists and turns, it will keep readers riveted from the first page to the last.”

This book has all the elements of a good read. Mystery, blackmail, lover’s triangles, betrayal…..DRAMA! Once I really got going, I could not put it down!! It did teach me one valuable thing: regardless of sexuality, we all love the same. We fall hard and deep (no pun intended, seriously). I can could a lot of myself in the main character even though it was about the unrequited love between two men. I highly recommend it!

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30 Day Letter Challenge: Day 1 – Your Best Friend

Dear Best Friend,

We have known each other what seems like forever. I remember the day that I met you. We were fast enemies, lol. Then we bonded over someone that we couldn’t stand more than we didn’t like each other. Funny how those things work....good old junior high. That was 15 years ago!!! To this day when anyone asks who my best friend is I still call your name.

Truth of the matter is that I miss the way that we used to be close. I used to be able to call and talk to you about ANYTHING under the sun. You used to do the same. Somewhere in there things changed. I realized that the first time that we have talked all of 2010 was the day that my mom passed. You moved back to Mississippi shortly after that and my dad had to tell me that. I had no idea. We have made plans to get together several times to chat it up and I am still waiting on all of those return phone calls. I can’t say that I am totally innocent. I haven’t called as much either. It has been hard to get in contact with you on many occasions. Instead of waiting by the phone, I just moved on the next person. I feel as though I let the distance between us grow because I was tired of bridging the gap on my own.

Our lifestyles are different: you like to go out a lot, I’m more of a homebody. You’re Greek….I’m SO not. But we have been so different all of our lives so I figured nothing would change that. I still love you and you are still the big brother I never had. I just wish that sometimes I had more of an active relationship. Maybe one day when life grants, we will cross paths (seeing as though there are only 30 miles between us now, sooner rather than later) and rekindle a great friendship. I just wish I knew what was going on with you.

All my love,

Kathryn ♥

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The 30 Day Letter Challenge

I am sitting here at my computer late tonight (….or this morning depending on how you look at it) and I am taking a good long look at my life and the events of this summer. Then I have to go back and take stock of the past year. I have been doing a lot of individual growing in my life. The things that bother me are my relationships with people who I thought were the closest to me. I was going back and forth on whether or not I was going to write an open letter on my blog to my brother…..just to get all of my feelings out. Then I stopped by Irendi's blog. She is doing a 30 day letter challenge on her blog. Every day for 30 days, you write a letter to someone or something different and post it on your blog. I followed her blog to this blog post and got the list. Here is a list of the letters that I will be writing for the next 30 days.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

 
This in itself will help me to resolve things in my mind that I have probably wanted to tell people but have held inside. This is going to be a period of enlightenment for me…I just know it. I hope that I don't bore you all too much over the next 30 days. See you guys in the morning for Day 1!!

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Celebrities Are People Too!

I can’t even count how many times that I have read a blog, Facebook status or tweet dealing with the personal dramas of a celebrity. I can’t even begin to imagine how many conversations that I have had about stuff that’s out there about celebrities. For some reason it is fun to read about them, watch them, and discuss them. It takes the focus away from what is going on in your own life and gives you something else to focus on….no matter how retarded.

My stance on celebrity news is very simple and my reaction is always this: “damn these folks act just like folks I know around the way!!” This is comforting to me because we, as a people, seem to put celebrities up on a pedestal and treat them like they aren’t human. The reality of the situation is that they go through hard times (just like us), go through relationship issues (just like us), and experience different stages of life (hey….that’s just like us!!) I feel sorry for people with fame. They make their money and livelihood based on their talents and skills. In return they make a LOT of money and get to have a million prying eyes all of in their personal business. I can’t stand when people like to insert themselves into my personal dramas. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to know that half the country had an opinion about my life.

Take for instance Alicia Keys and more recently, Fantasia.  These are two women who are pretty successful in their music careers. Both accused of carrying on with a married man. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what happened with either of these stories. I just know this….somewhere in these events, there was a man that decided that he didn’t want to be married to his wife anymore and went to find something better. Everybody I know has all these comments and they go something like this: Fantasia is a whore! Alicia Keys is a homewrecker! Ummm….if I’m not mistaken…they didn’t do all the work. Why are they under any more scrutiny than one of your friends who is doing the same thing right now?? Were you there? Do you even know the whole story? I don’t. So I am not that quick to judge. I do believe in the sanctity of marriage so in no way am I saying that sleeping with a married man is right. What I do believe is that in matters of the heart, nothing is black and white….just different shades of gray.  No one knows the inter-workings of the marriages of these men. We just know what a celeb blogger has put out there. (And be honest….you know most of that consists of lies) Unless you have never in your natural born life have ever flirted, considered, or actually been involved with a person that was in a relationship with someone else, you are a hypocrite. Even if that person wasn’t married, you messed with something that “belonged” to someone else. What makes you better than them?

What makes me even more upset is that they are being punished for what goes on in their personal lives. Look at Chris Brown. Poor thing is blacklisted from stores and radio stations. Stations won’t play his videos. People are threatening not to buy any more Alicia Keys albums. Are they any less talented because of their personal situations? The answer to that is no, if you had to think about it. A pre Swizz Beatz AK album is awesome and the last album she had is awesome as well. Chris Brown is just as talented now as he was before he beat Rihanna. They make personal mistakes, but people want to punish them in their pockets. I don’t think I would appreciate it if my pay got docked at work because things at home weren’t rosy. I would snap because my personal life rarely has an effect on the type of work that I do and has no business being taken into consideration when it comes to my check…..unless you are going to give me more money. I think most people would feel the same way.

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