Mixed Feelings

So it's the week of Christmas. If you asked me 6 months ago how I would feel about this time of year, I probably would've said "the show must go on." Now I feel differently.

Christmas was my mom's favorite time of year....and this is the first time in my life that I am spending it without her. I just feel really empty and weepy. I thought that I was handling her death really well but something about this time of year is sending me into a tailspin. It's like I have started back at day 1 with grief. I don't really wanna go anywhere or do too much. But I'm pushing through in spite of it all. I just never thought that it would be this hard.

Now I'm not totally depressed. I have my good days....then I have a moment in that day. Then I have my bad ones....like today, where I can't seem to get started. Just praying for strength and guidance. At this point that's all I can do.

I am grateful for my guy. He been a rock. He knows how I feel and is there for me every step of the way. He lost his dad 2 days after Christmas, so this is always a rough time for him too. He counteracts the loneliness I feel. So here's to better days....

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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Day 8: Worst Job You Ever Had

This is a very easy one!! The worst job that I have ever had was being a bill collector. I have had that job TWICE!!! The first time I was collecting for HSBC, Wells Fargo and Walmart credit cards. The second time I was collecting on bad checks. Personally I don't answer the phone on bill collectors when I don't have the money to pay them. That's exactly what people were doing to me. People had bad attitudes. And I started working as a bill collector when the economy tanked. *sighs* I hated hearing all these hard luck stories and it hurt me to ask people for hundreds of dollars in one lump sum. I was WAY too soft hearted for that job.

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Day 7: Best Job You've Ever Had

(Hey you guys! Of course I am back from hiatus after this long holiday weekend....but I'm back!!)

I have had many jobs in my life, some good and some bad. Giving where I am right now, I would probably kill to have some of those jobs back. Others I wouldn't pay anyone to take, lol. I would have to say that the best job that I have ever had was one where I did not get paid. People think that it's crazy but it's true. My favorite "job" was doing clinic work during law school. During my third year, I worked as a guardian ad litem in our Child Advocacy Clinic. For a whole semester, I worked as the "voice" and legal representation for children who were involved in custody battles, adoptions, emancipations, abuse cases. This was the most rewarding and tough thing that I have ever had to do. For as long as I could remember, I wanted to work in child advocacy. It was even part of my personal statement in my law school application. To finally be able to do that tickled my fancy. It shocked me the things that people could do to children, they way that parents use them as pawns in their sick and twisted games. I went home and cried a lot of nights because of the craziness that I was subjected to throughout the day. It made me look at the world in a very different light. I know for sure that my legal career will be spent in large part working for the benefit of those who can't afford legal services or can't be their own voice. I am very grateful for that experience.

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