Yesterday was Mother's Day. It was the first Mother's Day that I have spent without my mom. It made me think back to last year. Mother's Day Weekend 2010 was when I realized that my mom was sicker than she was telling me she was. A month later she was gone. I didn't know how yesterday was going to affect me….but I woke up and was fine. I had plans on watching church service (my favorite church UStreams), going to the cemetery to place flowers at my mother's grave and then going to eat dinner with my Granny. This is NOT how the day went.
Missed church altogether because I overslept. That didn't bother me too much because I have been really stressed and tired lately. This was my body's way of telling me to take better care of myself. Got woken out of my sleep by my grandmother telling me that she wasn't feeling well and that she might have a stomach virus. She said that she still wanted me to come and eat because she cooked dinner. Now I love my granny to death, but she out of all people knows that I have a VERY sensitive system and if I breathe the air of a virus, I am likely to get sick. I immediately went to take a cod liver oil pill, a multivitamin and drink a glass of orange juice (like that was going to anything for a stomach virus….but I prayed about it). In the midst of me getting ready for the day, my brother starts blowing up my phone. This immediately starts me off on the wrong foot. Anytime we are set to anything together, he start blowing my phone up. "Where you at?" "You ready?" "How long until you get ready?" "What time you leaving?" Well, if you would get calling and texting me fiddy-leven times, MAYBE I could get some shit done. Whenever I feel rushed, my blood pressure goes up a bit. Then my grandmother calls back (an hour and a half after I spoke with her the first time) mad as hell that I'm not already down there (regardless that it takes almost an hour to get there) and cussed me out saying that she was going to the doctor.……hangs up in my face and everything. Now this was not the way that the day was supposed to happen. In an hour and a half I am exhausted as hell. So I got back in the bed. My mind went, "skip the dinner, skip the cemetery, get back in the PJs and watch a Madea movie." And that's what I TRIED to do. Then my brother calls again (for the fiddy-thirteenth time) saying that my granny was at the ER. 8 hours later, the diagnosis is that she let her blood sugar get too low and got dehydrated. My guess is that Mother's Day really did take it's toll on her because she was missing my mom too. Glad Granny is okay. Though she didn't make it easy on any doctor or nurse. She had one nurse thinking she was feeble!! My granny is the most active old person I've ever met! She stayed a whole lot longer than was necessary because she wouldn't let those people do their jobs. If my expression could talk, everyone got an "Are you f***ing serious?!" look. But a lot of things have to change from today forward.
I don't feel like anyone in my immediate family respects my time, my feelings, my life, or my sanity. I love them and I know that this has been a rough almost year…..but we gotta get back down to some order in some form or fashion. I can't DO everything. I can't BE everywhere. I spent all day, as I have spent the majority of the last year looking out for everyone else's needs. I don't even get a thank you. Just "it's what you were supposed to do" or "what else were you going to be doing." I have prayed about it because I don't want to just leave them high and dry….but I do need a little peace. I need to be free from drama for more than a few hours at a time. I need for everything to calm down. Every issue is NOT a DefCon 5 situation! So my phone has been off and in my underwear drawer all day. In case of a real emergency, they have the boo thing's number and I know they won't call that for any minor stuff. I'm on strike.
