Happy 4/20!

That is all! Puff, puff....

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The Joys of Work

Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy. - Kahlil Gibran

Of course the title is pure sarcasm. To be perfectly honest.....I HATE MY JOB. That is exactly what it is, a job and not a career. I wake up every morning and sit at my desk and think..."I went to law school for 3 years for this?!" I work in collections. And although this might be a lucrative time in our nation's history to have that job, it sucks monkey balls.

I try not to get discouraged but this is a constant reminder that I have not yet passed the bar. But I got to do what I got to do to pay the bills until July when I take that test head on. But everything is wrong with this job except the paycheck....and even that can leave a little to be desired, lol. I have come to the realization that this had to happen. Success for me has always come relatively easy. I worked hard for everything, don't get me wrong....but I have had few struggles along the way. Talk about trials and tribulations.....my life hasn't been the same since September 2008 when I found out I didn't pass. It hasn't been all downhill.....but I have been going through some real character building situations since then. We'll see how it plays out.....

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I (Don't Want To) Miss My Mom

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." - Washington Irving

For almost 3 years now, my mom has been fighting lung cancer. They caught it pretty early back in the summer of 2007 (will never forget it because I was in Atlanta when I found out). It went into remission and after about a year, it came back. This time with a vengeance.

My mom and I have always been really close. I have heard that this is very odd for a girl to be as close as I am with my mother....but that it how it is. Or was. Seems like the longer we go without remission, the more my mother pulls away from me. We used to talk every day up until the beginning of this year. Now days go by without real conversation. I call her and she doesn't want to talk. She NEVER calls me. My has me working all sorts of crazy shifts, so time goes by before I can see her. When I do, she seems uninterested. It makes me sad to think that I might lose her because she keeps talking about how the chemo just makes her really tired. It may sound very selfish of me, but I need her to be here. I haven't gotten married or had my first child. I pray about it a lot. But I don't want to miss my mom.....

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